4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
