I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
