he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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