you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
