just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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