Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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