this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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