FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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