He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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