I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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