drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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