Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
