I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
