i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When did angry sex become our thing?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
