Quick, to the slutcave!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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