Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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