Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
