you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize