Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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