Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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