how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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