He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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