The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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