I wish life had little blips of pornography
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize