We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
