we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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