i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
