thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
