i jhust puked up my retainher.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize