that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
