I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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