Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
