...so i touched it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
