He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
