Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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