yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
