this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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