Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
