Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
send nudes
from the living room?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
