youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
