good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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