that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you had me at cake vodka
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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