I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
