I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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