if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
