fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize