wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
