OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize