Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
