oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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