awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Come on in and take your pants off
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
