You're so nebulous sometimes
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
