I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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