i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
