11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
