well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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