No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize