I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My balls are so social today.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
