I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
