Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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