i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
