M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
